NEW YORK, NY / ACCESS Newswire / May 25, 2025 / Many people think that surprise proposals are exciting and romantic. No doubt they are. Yet couples who discuss marriage before they get engaged might be better positioned for the long term.
Among the list of topics to discuss, couples may want to explore how long they want to be engaged, whether they'll use engagement ring financing or save up to buy a ring in cash, and where they'd eventually like to get married.
This article explores a few reasons to discuss marriage before the proposal and offers some tips for starting the conversation.
Three Reasons to Discuss Marriage Before Getting Engaged
1. To Clarify and Align on Life Goals
It's important to make sure both partners are aligned when it comes to life goals. That includes things like:
Family plans
Career aspirations
Where to live
Desire to travel vs. settling down
Retirement wishes
It's not important at this stage to work out all the details; however, being aligned on fundamental long-term goals could prevent conflict, frustration, and tension later.
2. To Make Sure There are Shared Core Values and Beliefs
Sharing values and beliefs is crucial to a healthy marriage. Key areas to explore with one another include religious views, political beliefs, moral principles, and even family traditions.
This isn't just for theoretical reasons since some values and beliefs directly impact married life. For example, agreeing on parenting philosophy is crucial for raising children. A major disagreement on core values may need to be worked through before taking the next step in the relationship.
3. To Get a Better Picture of the Day-to-Day
Love is powerful, but marriages are sustained by more than love alone. It's also important to have open, honest discussions about day-to-day matters to avoid unpleasant surprises after getting married.
For example, someone might discover that their partner is okay with carrying credit card debt or plans to go to the gym every evening after work until late. Talking about daily life a bit more helps a couple understand what married life looks like after tying the knot and what things might need to change to make both partners happy.
Three Tips to Start the Conversation
1. Select the Right Moment
Timing is everything when it comes to discussing sensitive subjects. Attempting to have a serious conversation on a weeknight after a busy workday might not be as well received as a planned chat for a Sunday afternoon when there are no plans or stressors weighing anyone down. Choosing the right time can create a positive atmosphere while setting distractions aside to allow both partners to focus on the topic at hand.
2. Ease Into the Topic
Marriage can be a heavy topic, so it might make sense to start with lighter questions about what a shared future looks like and the experiences a couple wants to share. The gradual approach helps the conversation flow naturally and makes sure both participants are comfortable and not feeling put on the spot.
3. Frame the Conversation Properly
It's important to frame the conversation around positives, like working toward a shared future, rather than negatives, like having things that must be figured out before moving forward in the relationship. Keep the focus on mutual growth and togetherness to steer the direction toward an optimistic outcome.
Consider Discussing Marriage Before Getting Engaged
Discussing marriage before the proposal might feel odd, but doing so may help avoid frustration and conflict later. Aligning with a partner on goals, shared values, and daily habits can create clear expectations for what the future holds. Having these discussions sooner rather than later could ultimately pay dividends with a happier engagement and marriage.
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About OneMain Financial
OneMain Financial is the leader in offering nonprime customers responsible access to credit and is dedicated to improving the financial well-being of hardworking Americans.
Contact Information:
Name: Sonakshi Murze
Email: Sonakshi.murze@iquanti.com
Job Title: Manager
SOURCE: OneMain Financial
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